Category Archives: Uncategorized

Walking Out of the Darkness

gal-out-of-the-darkness01-jpg

Mile 4

So I have finally finished House of Cards and The West Wing. I have had my fill of that oblong office, and will now get to work on this oblong body!

No more distractions. No more excuses.

A new driving force to workout is that I will be walking in the Out of the Darkness Overnight, to raise funds for suicide prevention and mental health awareness. I will be walking 16-18 miles through the night, and my goal is to raise $1500 (hopefully more!). I have never walked this far before, so I need to get my you-know-what in gear!

I have lost friends to suicide, and I know too many who have lost a loved one. Mental illness runs in my family, and as you know I have been dealing with my own boughts of depression.

Any support would be greatly appreciated. No donation is too small. Seriously, it isn’t! If you cannot donate, please just help by talking about suicide and mental health.

For more information, please visit my page here.

Help spread the word to bring suicide and depression out of the darkness. Thank you!

Advertisements

Resolution List

When my Grandmother passed away, I was given a wooden box that always sat on her dresser. Every time I open it, the scent of cedar and mint bring me back to her bedroom, and fills me with memories and warmth.

She used it to hold her brooches and necklaces, but I hold momentos. In recent years I have also been using her box to hold my New Year’s resolution list. I always make a list of what I want to happen by the end of that year, and never open it again until I add the next list. I’ve done this for the past five years, and almost everything on every list has come true.

Perhaps it’s a magic box? Perhaps the act of writing it all down places it into my psyche, and therefore I subconsciously do it? I like to think it is the former. Either way, it has become my own personal tradition, and I choose to believe that it is a secret list between me and my Grandmother.

I suggest trying to find a sacred and secret place to hold your resolution list, and see how it goes! Just the act of moving it from your brain to the page is enough to set yourself into motion, but creating a tradition around it will bring a new level of importance to what you really want.

Happy 2013!


It’s a mad, mad, mad (and boring) world in season 5

So after watching the season 5 premiere of Mad Men, I realized a couple of things –

1 – It didn’t need to be two hours long

2 – I was expecting too much, and so was the rest of the world

Now let’s make one thing very clear. I am a huge MM fan. I want to use Wonkavision to send me into the TV so I can join the characters in their fashionably messed-up world. It bothered me that there was SO MUCH hype about it though, and the reason was made very clear when I watched the 2 hour premiere.

Now, I do not really care as to why I had to go through Mad Men withdrawals last year. TV politics. Whatever. Just because a year is skipped does not mean that you need to turn what could have been an amazing 1 hour show into a so-so 2 hour show. This also means that you do not need to show an actress singing an entire song, and then try to promote it afterward. The song was stupid, and took up way too much time. The entire party was too long in my opinion, and nothing moved along. The scene was standing around looking bored just as the people at the party were.

I did like the fact that time had passed with Don married, Joan having a baby, Pete moving, etc., but where was Betty???? I’m sure January Jones was too busy giving birth and eating her placenta (Betty would cringe at the thought), but 2 hours without seeing Betty? The power of television trickery could have done something to hide her belly or weight gain, and it could have been a simple, short, scene just to establish what is happening in her life.

Oh, and I am all for bringing in the news of the day, but to bookend the civil rights movement felt lazy. Why not find a way to REALLY bring it into the lives of the characters?

My favorite storyline of the episode was the friction between Roger and Pete. It was fun, and it was the plot that had some movement. I also enjoyed seeing Pete’s life turning into what Don’s life used to be. Am I wrong, or is his kitchen almost exactly like Don and Betty’s old kitchen?

Basically the fat should have been trimmed to make it a great show. It was boring. Plain and simple.

But…it was still Mad Men, and going into it I think I was expecting too much. I was expecting a big reveal like the end of the pilot, because, well, it was the length of a movie! Yet when I think back, it’s just Mad Men. It continued to have the same pace, the dialogue, the tension, and the drinking as before, so how can I complain?

Matthew Weiner mentioned in an interview that after the first 2 episodes the fans will ask, “what happened?” This makes me nervous, but will it stop me from watching? In my best Joan voice,

No


Unselfish Selfishness

20120320-161850.jpg

Huh? What does that mean? Well, I don’t know exactly, but I am going to try to give it a shot.

Recently I quit my job. My last day is March 30th, and instead of feeling scared or unsure, I feel…happy. This is a word I haven’t truly felt consistently for quite some time now, but why? What has my happiness been based upon?

It all hit me one day when I realized that I hadn’t been doing any of the selfish things
that make me happy. Like buying a stack of fashion magazines and looking through them all page by page, and then ripping out the pages that inspire me.

Or spending an entire Sunday watching Pride and Prejudice or Sense and Sensibility (the Masterpiece version) from start to finish.

Or deciding on a whim to see a movie or visit the Met museum, Strand Bookstore, or Brooklyn Botanic Garden.

I also stopped writing ideas, plays, and poems in my notebook, which is something I had been doing for years.

My creative self has been disappearing, and even though I know there is no one or nothing to blame but myself, I have realized that I need to be a little bit selfish again. I need to think of me.

So where does the unselfish part come in? Well, that would be the 11 month old who is sleeping beside me. Of course life is all about my son, and that will never change, but…if I want him to be happy then shouldn’t I do all I can to be happy as well? Everything I do, and feel, and express has a direct impact on his growth as a person, so if I am unhappy and not thinking of my own happiness then how am I affecting his?

That is how all of this began. I want to surround myself with light, joy, and creativity, so I can share it all with my son. If I don’t do this then he will only see one part of his mother. I want to be a better mother than that.

Selfishly, I also want to be happy.


Today

My last post was five months ago, and almost five months ago I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Of course he has been my life these past months, and therefore posting on a blog did not seem important, but today, as I was feeding my son and staring at his wiggling toes, I thought of the thousands of mothers and fathers who lost their children ten years ago on this day.

I have always known that losing a child must be an unimaginable and horrible experience for any parent, but now….

As I sit and watch my son roll on the blanket in front of me, giving me high-pitched screams and huge smiles, I think of the strength of those parents who lost a child or children on that day, of the children who lost a parent, and of the lives that the world lost.

I will not think of how or why. Only of courage, of love, and of remembrance. I choose to spend this day in peace, and to give my son as many smiles as he has given me.


What is Classic Rock?

Today I watched an episode of Glee, in which the character of Rachel decides to sing a “classic rock” song, and then begins to sing One by U2. Ummmmmm…..what? Classic rock? I think not. Achtung Baby was released in 1991, which I know is 20 years ago, but does it fit into the classic rock genre?

All of this got me thinking – where is the line drawn as to when classic rock begins and ends? Or does it change with each passing generation?  Rachel mentions that she was born in 1994 (gulp, the year I graduated from high school), so is One a classic rock song for her generation, or should it just be in its own category, such as 90’s rock?

When I think of classic rock, I think of Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Who, Van Halen, Journey, to name a few… and I do not think that will ever change. Yet, I do remember the first time I was listening to a “classic rock” station and heard a Pearl Jam song from the album Ten being played. I think I yelled at the radio, “this is grunge, not classic rock!” And then I suddenly felt old. The music that was released while I was in high school was now classic rock.

So I am just throwing this question to the void – is classic rock an ever-changing definition that can be used once a song turns 20? Or should it stay true to where it began: the classic rock bands of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s?


What is Your Soundtrack?

If your life were a movie and you could create a soundtrack of your life until now, what would it be? Below is my soundtrack from youth to present, without going into any detail as to why these songs were picked. Let’s just say that I picked these songs based on memories, how the songs make me feel, and how the songs fit together if they were to be in an actual soundtrack. I love films and I love music, so why not have fun and pretend that my life is a movie, and that it deserves its own soundtrack?

So what is your soundtrack?

 

Joy to the World – Three Dog Night

Lollipop – Chordettes

Summer Nights – Grease

The Smashing Pumpkins – Mayonaise

Liz Phair – Shatter

The Verve – One Way to Go

Kissability – Sonic Youth

Promising Light – Iron and Wine

Beloved One – Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals